Every
once in a while I see posts and quotes that advise if you want to be
more positive, remove negative people from your life. When I read
these, I think I might be taking it personally so I want to find a
new perspective on the subject.
I'm
sure everyone knows what I'm talking about but to clarify POP
explains it like this:
“Even
though you’re doing your best to practice positive thinking, you
may not realize that it’s those around you that unload their
negative energy onto you. You know who they are, talking negatively
about the people around them and their own life experiences. And they
may not even be realizing it, but their “venting” process is
actually affecting your own positive energy.” ~ Power of Positivity
Now
I totally understand the meaning and the reasoning behind this. And I
honestly believe that we must leave the really toxic people and
unsafe relationships behind; the ones that are harmful, that use, and
abuse you, and destroy your sense of worth. I've even had to do this
myself in the past but what about the people who are not harmful, the
people who are just lost in their way, the people who haven't been
shown anything different yet. I was one of those people just a few
months ago, despite years and years of trying to find happiness, it
just always seemed to elude me.
We
all are going through life on our own path. Our paths intertwine with
others, some for a short time and others for a long time, depending
on their purpose in our life. It doesn't matter how many negative
people you walk away from, more will just keep coming your way until
you learn the lesson they are meant to teach you. In reality, not
many people are going to walk away from the majority of negative
people in their lives. I know if I did, I would be pretty much alone.
I don't have a positive support network of family or friends that I
can rely on. I must seek out my inspiration in other ways.
I
decided to write this article because I read and replied to the
following comment on one of Power of Postitivity's articles concerning their quote
above.
“Other
people's negative spirit can not affect you if you choose not to let
it. It's unkind to reject negative people. They are like that for a
reason. Have some compassion for those who have not yet learned the
value of a positive spirit. Instead of cutting them off, bathe them
in your own positive light. Rejecting others because you believe they
disturb your sense of positivity is selfish. Help others.” ~ Aisha
Shah
Now,
I want you to think about these quotes too:
“God
manifests as love – love for other people, compassion for their
problems, and a real willingness to help them.” ~ Carry the Message
“The
beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves,
and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only
the reflection of ourselves we find in them.” ~ Thomas Merton
I
have never in my life met someone that enjoyed being miserable. Deep
down we all want something more, something better but most of us just
don't know what it is yet. We have created a world where we are so
consumed with our preoccupation that we are blinded to see what it is
that we are really searching for. The vast majority of us have been
down that dark road, so why when we reach the light are we condemning
the ones who are struggling to catch up to us?
When
I questioned my dear friend Essence Turner on this subject, this is
what she told me, “In my experience, when you come from being a
negative person and you want to change to a more positive outlook,
you don't have the strength, the energy to combat the negative energy
with your positive energy. The person hasn't built that muscle;
they're still very impressionable. So in the beginning a person may
have to be selfish, and that's fine.... I think to cut off may be
harsh but sometimes you have to distance yourself from others until
your light begins to shine or until your light is bright enough to
cast out their darkness, at least while you're in their presence.”
I
really like her view on this. “Distance yourself” is so
much more acceptable to me. Especially if you are in a vulnerable
state in your process of finding yourself and even more so if the
distance you create is for the greater good. The finality of “remove
yourself” and “cutting people off” was what provoked my need
for a new perspective.
So
maybe when we reach the light and are strong enough to cast out the
dark, we can confidently show others and inspire them to find their
own happiness. Smiles are contagious; the tiniest spark of light will
illuminate the dark; others are drawn to and inspired by happy
people; love is the strongest weapon we have. If we can do our best
to succeed in our own happiness, the people around us will see our
transformation and say, “Wow, what are you doing? I've seen such a
change in you and I want what you've got!”
Sue
Fitzmaurice said it well with, “The more my path becomes clear, the
more the people around me change.” I think as we improve ourselves,
we just need to change our perspective concerning negative people and
fill ourselves up with love, acceptance, compassion and empathy.
We
wont be able to help everyone that's travelling that dark road along
with us but we can show them by example if we keep going that they
just make it too. And every once in a while when someone reaches out
to you, don't stop, just slow down your step, grab hold and walk
together for a time. If someone didn't do that for me a couple months
back, I would still be stumbling around. Sometimes her step picks up
a bit and she's in front of me, and other times she staggers a little
but my favorite times are when we are walking hand-in-hand.
